The forum for the chat. Visit www.thebestareinhere.chatango.com To chat up many attractive individuals =).
 
HomeHome  FAQFAQ  SearchSearch  RegisterRegister  MemberlistMemberlist  UsergroupsUsergroups  Log inLog in  

Share | 
 

 A finished work.

Go down 
AuthorMessage
Icucic

avatar

Posts : 87
Join date : 2008-02-10
Age : 26
Location : Hong Kong

PostSubject: A finished work.   Tue Feb 12, 2008 3:25 pm

Pulchritudinous

It was time for brown bears to hibernate,
The bright moon smiled, I begin to languish,
As I continued I descried my soul mate,
She was immaculate, not a blemish.

Moving closer, I witnessed a tragic scene,
The anguish of her grief was astonishing,
Furiously weeping; her tears were unseen,
She halted. I wished of being her only king.

Her eyes mesmerize mortals, diluting them,
Capable of taming madness and insanity,
Vast like the sea, reflecting like a gem,
Their forms bring blessings to humanity.

She sat on her throne like a stationary,
Neglecting a bull pythonís skittering,
An amour they had, they were complementary,
That very second, time seemed everlasting


Last edited by on Wed Feb 13, 2008 9:55 am; edited 6 times in total
Back to top Go down
View user profile
StealthXanon1
Site Admins
Site Admins
avatar

Posts : 52
Join date : 2008-02-10
Age : 29
Location : Sunol, CA

PostSubject: Re: A finished work.   Tue Feb 12, 2008 3:36 pm

nice nick

you should change it to 'capable of taming madness and insanity", it flows better

besides that, great
im looking forward to the rest
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Icucic

avatar

Posts : 87
Join date : 2008-02-10
Age : 26
Location : Hong Kong

PostSubject: Re: A finished work.   Tue Feb 12, 2008 3:38 pm

well yeah it does. I thought about it but then the syllables won't match >.> and its required for the syllables to be similar in each line.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Sponsored content




PostSubject: Re: A finished work.   

Back to top Go down
 
A finished work.
Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» dynaco sca-35 phono amplification on right speeker doesn't work
» Power Steering does not work when cold.
» Body shops for rust work
» got bored at work
» Possible Camille Naudot Early work Nouveau vase ????

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
The Best Are In Here :: Ye Olde Ale Hall :: Poetry-
Jump to: